So I have a young teen entering 7th grade and so they’re about to receive their first phone. With that, it opens a lot of doors to all the big tech social media apps and privacy invasive services.
I’m not sure how to approach this. My parents probably want tracking features so it’ll probably be Find My or a 3rd party app like life360 depending on if we choose iphone or degoogled pixel.
Social media I’m not sure if fediverse stuff is the right path especially for lemmy, since it’s just tech nerd stuff and politics which isn’t interesting really unless they go out of their way to find smaller communities. Their friends will probably force them onto Instagram or some shit and I don’t really want them doomscolling on reels, that shit algorithm, and the malicious messaging app built in to it.
It’s just kinda hard trying to blend being a functional member of society and maintain your mental well being and privacy.
If your maib concern is soical media / onlinr groups id just say educate them on the dangers not even people but about how the alogrithms they use are built to cause addiction and id also reccomend teaching them basic cybersec stuff like dont click random links how to find scams. etc
i‘m not writing this from the perspective of a parent, but a 23yo Gen Z who’s had parents which didn’t know what to regulate.
in some places my parents regulated „very intensely“. oftentimes they did so quite suddenly and without much communication/ explanation.
then again there were times and places where the lack of regulation allowed me to spend hours and hours each day, doom scrolling on instagram.
i spent years contemplating the situations and what would’ve been good.
your child’s mental health is the main key. in my experience the lack of self regulation is a coping mechanism. i was doing horribly and my parents solution wasn’t to help me, but to play whack a mole with symptoms by regulating. don’t get me wrong tho, it’s not just me, ive seen this a bunch of times with other ppl too. -> the better your kids mental health, the less there will be a need to regulate. if they do struggle, help them by working with them, not against them. look for solutions with them. don’t just set regulations, discuss what to do WITH THEM. let them set targets and what to do if they aren’t met with you. there will be lots of resentment and cheating around restrictions if you don’t work with them. everyone i know who’s been forced into find my or live360 has used a variety of techniques to spoof their location. not to mention that all of them at least kinda hate their parents for it.
so:
- if you want regulations to work, they need to be voluntary.
- ensure good mental health to prevent media abuse as coping mechanism.
they say that strict parents raise liars, and i’ve seen that proven many times.
It isn’t a strict environment at all, it’s more so for my parents’ piece of my mind just wondering where they’re at. It’s not like they can’t go anywhere or browse anything online.
At the end of the day, your parents are your parents not your kid’s parent. You raise your kid the way you feel best.
If you scroll down to where this reply will end up:
Iphone is the right place to start. The parental controls are well thought out and have enough granularity for almost anyone and “find my” works great along with location sharing.
They have a bunch of built in privacy, mental health and use monitoring stuff so the person with the phone can use that themselves too.
It’s the most normal person phone there is so no chance they’ll be embarrassed or feel left out and because the platform is so common (assuming USA because “grades”) you’ll have an easy time coordinating with other parents and sharing how you’re dealing with stuff as they grow.
Good luck.
